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SATIRE: The Tales Of The ‘Bellos’

By : Abdulrahman Yahaya

Like every other avaracious man, he must have thought it is his time to shine — the time to call the shots from the comfort of his palour and time for people to know that Kogi State is not only meant for those men from the East — those with their annoying facial marks.

If this were not Governor Yahaya Bello’s thoughts when he was controversially inflicted on the innocent people of Kogi, then what were his thoughts? To make better the lives of the people? To save the state from her pathetic condition? If one looks into Kogi with an eagle eye, one would forget all maturity and allow tears drip down the cheeks.

What you will find in Kogi is a state that has been blessed by maladministration. The state is in dire need of liberation from the shackles of incompetences, with workers begging for even half of their monthly entitlements and being faced with incessantly rigorous screenings. In the state, schools are being run by teachers with empty stomachs and infrastructures that are more of shameful sights than monuments. In fact, Kogi easily qualifies as one of the worst states Nigeria has ever had.

The people of the state have been so unlucky to have have three different governors consecutively, whose ineptitudes are worth a pity for the state. Ibrahim Idris enjoyed a nine years spell at the Luggard house, from 2003 to 2012, but a painstaking assessment of these nine years in office would only aggravate wounds. And when he was done milking the state, he did not leave  without ensuring that his successor was just like him. These were days when rigging elections were as easy as swatting a fly. So, it was easy for him to place his choice over that of the masses.

Only God knows where Captain Idris Ichala Wada was inflicted upon the innocent people. The similarity between Wada and his predecessor was not only the “Idris” in their names, they also share the same I-couldn’t-care-less attitude towards the problems bedevillig the state.

The last time the people felt what was closed to being good governance was in 2003, during the last days of the late Abubakar Audu in the Luggard house. The prince of Ogbonisha had done well to deserve a second term in office but the federal might led by then Prisident Obasanjo wouldn’t have him be a governor in a party that wasn’t PDP. He was muscled out for Ibrahim Idris.

21st November 2015, was when  Kogites thought they had finally made the change. They had came out in their numbers to vote for the late Abubakar Audu of the APC and he was surely on his way back to the Luggard House. But alas! It was time for him to bid the world farewell, he died while collation of results was still on. And this was how Yahaya Bello, whom had came second at the APC primary, got it on a platter of gold. Yahaya Bello was affirmed governor against Audu’s running mate, James Falake.

Kogites, yet again, got a governor that was not their pick. But all hope wasn’t lost. He is a young man, he runs his own transport company and as a governor that came as a result of circumstance,Yahaya Bello will be too keen to impress, Kogites thought. How wrong were they! The young man was only keen to be called “governor Yahaya Bello” and his wives “first ladies”. Moreover, it’s time to dine and wine with the cream dala cream of Nigerian politics, time to actualise that dream of owning a billion Naira worth of  mantion in Okene. Salaries? Workers can wait, it is 12 months only. There are more important issues to face, like flushing out those insidious Kogi APC members.

At a point, I thought he had forfeitted the Luggard House for for the presidential villa. For he was jostling with the president’s  aid-de-camp (ADC) for standing spot behind the him. If Aisha Buhari were to sneaze twice in quick succession, governor Bello will readily be a presidential first aid worker. I imagine President Buhari turning to him and asks “Bello, what is it I am hearing about non-payments of salaries in Kogi? What happened to za bail out and za Paris refund? And when will you invite me to Kogi to commission projects like Ben Ayade and za others?” But Baba won’t ask, the fallacy is that all APC governors are saints.

Bello’s constant presence at the Villa is not surprising, is it? After all, was it the people that made him the governor? Do the people really have the power to deny him a second term in office? No. They don’t. We have the power both at the top and here in Kogi. Anyone that dares us shall be dealt with. Just be on the same page with the Villa, and you are sure for a second term.

When I heared the news that 88 Doctors have resigned over poor condition of service in Kogi, I wasn’t in any way suprised. Who will be stuck in such appalling condition without seeking ways out. You don’t expect them to starve to death when their services would be welcomed elsewhere. What should be entitlement has now become a previlage.

Kogites have been at the receiving end of end of Governor Yahaya Bello’s shambolic administration. Workers go out more for ineffective screanings than they approach banks for thier salaries. The state has lost many experts in different discipline to other states. And as the federal government remains aloof to the plight of the people of Kogi state, it will be only fair for the people to be allowed to make the decision of whom to pilot their affairs when the time comes knocking.

Enough about His excellency Yahaya Bello. After all it’s not too late for him, he still has about 10 month to go. He can just suprise us by immediate and total do payment of all salaries, rapid reconstruction of roads and youth empowerment programs. It’s never too late to be a hero, ask former president Goodluck Jonathan.

Let’s take a flight from Lokoja to Niger state. Did I just say “flight”? Sorry, Lokoja has no airport. Let’s board a bus to Niger state to visit another Bello. The confusion is, should we go straight  to Minna or stop in Abuja? Because this particular Bello also leads his people from Abuja. Okay. He should be in Minna, it’s time for electioneering.

Unlike the Bello of Kogi, governor Abubakar Bello (Abu lolo) of Niger state was voted into office by Nigerlites at the 2015 governorship polls. The people massively voted  “Abu lolo” of the APC against Umar Nasco of the PDP despite the then incumbent Governor, Muazu Aliyu of the PDP. Nigerlites were obviously tired of Aliyu’s loquciousness that wasn’t backed up with tangible developments. Thus, Aliyu’s pick was outrightly rejected by Nigerlites.

The new Sheriff in town is a business man and from an affluent home too, his palms do not itch. He is a gentleman to the core, he won’t bamboozle us with too much noise like the Talban Minna. This is a beginning of a new Niger state.  But this thoughts by Nigerlites couldn’t be more exagerative. After almost four years, governor “Abu lolo” has evidently lost the popularity amongst Nigerlites.

Unlike his namesake, “Abu lolo” pays salaries but the languorous manner with which he pilots the affairs of Niger state has caused him lost of  faithfuls. This is evident in the reproval the governor has met across the states. He was pelted in Bida when it took him one week  to visit the community after its market was engulfed by inferno. In Lapai, he was jarred by chants of “so daya kawai” (one term only ). And recently, in Suleja, he was welcomed with posters of PDP’s candidate Umar Nasco and chants of ” bama yi, sai Nasco” (we are not with you, Nasco is next )

Nigerlites had expected a better free education system but they only heared of it from neighboring states. Governor Abubakar Bello’s predecessor, Muazu Aliyu had implemented that in his first term in office but it became ineffective in his second. Now, with “Abu lolo,” the free and sound education is still very much elusive. The people have seen little or nothing on ward development projects compared to the previous administration. Where is the power if communities in the so-called power state can not be powered for six hours daily? Tell me, just tell me, Why won’t the people boo?

One of the members of the house of representatives from Niger state, honarable Chika, once asserted  that “the governor can’t boast of a billion Naira worth of project.” It will be heart-warming not to prove Chika wrong! But as it seems, our gentle governor is too busy planning on how to take the state to the “next level” to have time to respond to Chika’s assertion.

Both Bellos, although not youths in the right description, are the two most youngest among all the 36 state governors in Nigeria. One won’t be wrong to call them “bad markets” for the clamour to have youths in governance.

Abdulrahman Yahaya is a 400 level student of English language at Usmanu Danfodiyo University, Sokoto. He can be reached via yahayaabdulrahman02@gmail

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