By Abdulganiyu Azeez
Every culture is built on the foundation of belief, by extension, culture is the total way of life of people. A place recognized as Ilorin is religiously known for being predominated by Islamic lineage and exhibits a glittering and glamor cultural practice.
However, five basic requirements must be adhered to before marriage can take place.
The Agreement between the two partners is an initial part where both sides express their personal rights. forced marriage is not applicable in Ilorin unlike other cultural settings where parents dictate spouses for their children. This is testify in line with Quran and Hadith of the prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) An-Nisa’ 4:3 go thus:
“And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four.”
However, the second rite involves the appearance of the man before his in-law after consensus, satisfaction has reached between the two partners. This is called ‘yiyo ju’ where the man along with one of his wise elders visit his future wife’s family. Also,he is expected to dress in gorgeous attire. The apt wisdom behind this culture goes with the popular saying that “appearance shows the manner” This is where the man is interrogated by his in-law on his occupation and sorts after which he takes his leave.
The next stage is called ‘Titoro’ that is ‘Seeking’ of the woman’s hand in marriage or introduction where the man summone his relative to his in-law domine. This stage can only be possible if only the woman’s family has given their Permission/ acceptance to the relationship. Thus, the man’s parents will go in group like three or five. This is called (Titoro). In contrast, it can also be called mere introduction or engagement. At this stage,a set of elders from woman’s house including her father probably will attend to the visitors.
During this visitation, both parties interrogate each other. After all, the woman’s relatives bless the union which signifies their approval of the two parties. This stage is correspond with Al Quran verse that says marry them by the consent of their patients. فَانكِحُوهُنَّ بِإِذْنِ أَهْلِهِنَّ”
“Wed them with the permission of their own folk…”
This is followed by ‘Thanks giving’ This is for granting the two partners, it is called (Idupe). A letter is send conveying the wholehearted acceptance of the relationship from the woman’s relative. The guy’s relative in return covergn with his friends to his in-law in expressing his gratitude for their acceptance. Upon their arrival, they will be taking to every other relatives of the family to greet people of different personality. After their departure, his mother will converse with her friends for thanksgiving as well.
The last stage of the rite is to take collar nut to the to be bride’s parent, this is colloquially called ‘kiko ‘bi sa alubarika’ where two elder along a woman present forty piece of collar nut with sum if #5,000, after which the two families met to choose/ to agree on a date for marriage.