By Habeeb Olokooba
God forbid a time when all that glitters become gold. Before you learn from my story, I believe I need you to know what I mean by 4-4-2. Well, it simply means to be deceived, or simply being manipulated with lies, especially from a guy to a girl.
To kick off, I would conceal my identity to fence myself off eyes campus. I would also hide my boyfriend’s name. For the purpose of this story, I will call him Ade.
It all started in early 2019 when I was in100-level. Ade was a graphics designer, (if he is still not) and around this time(2019) things were rosy for him.
I and Ade started dating three weeks after getting my confirmation letter. Ade’s proposal came in a kinda “catch her young” sort of way. I was young and naive, as that’s my first time in a new environment. So he never stressed much before getting a yes from me. Ade lived around Shama village. His lifestyle was something I will call comfortable. Obviously doing better than most guys of his time. He was not that rich, but was never in need.
Well, I love Ade. He is the definition of everything I want in a man. Everything! Did I just say everything? You should wonder why then did I lose him? I will just say I like him, his personality and maybe he was the best for me at that time.
Things were going well till this cozy Wednesday evening. There was this friend of mine who happened to be the outgoing type. That day, the pregnant cloud just bathed the world in a ritual bath. So my outgoing friend (Gloria) asked me to accompany her to her guy’s place. At first I insisted but when she said; “It’s Jeff’s birthday. It helps you to let go of this boredom.” I had to have a rethink so I agreed to follow suit.
We got to this massive hostel outside the school, don’t ask for its name. Like Gloria promised there was a party going on, not less than fifteen guys were in that compound, most with girls while very few had no company.
They were all vibrating to the sound from the Disk jockey Bass. I and Gloria found a place to sit when this guy walked towards me.
“Hi,” said the guy
“Hey,” I replied.
While talking I briefly assess his appearance. He was not that handsome as Ade but to be candid, his dress was way too expensive. Plus the iphone 11pro max he was holding all concurrently kept me off my feet. “You won’t be a bad catch,” I had thought.
My name is Sodiq, nice meeting you,” He left after we exchanged contacts.
So from that day, my heart started sharing between my well fed boyfriend and the luxurious Sodiq. Sodiq lived in a tastefully furnished two bedroom flat while Ade lived in one bedroom apartments in shama village. Sodiq used 11pro Max and Ade had an XR. Well Sodiq was outgoing but my boyfriend was an introvert. I started giving it a rethink to try Sodiq and after a few days of playing the hard to get game, I said “Yes” to Sodiq.
I was faced with the dilemma of how to run my two relationships but after a few days of double dating, and opted out a tough time to my uncompetitive Ade; I had to come clean for him that I can’t continue. The poor boy cried around and begged me for weeks but my mind was made up. I saw the ordeal shattered him but I cared less. Well, he was fine after all.
Two months passed. The sea finish began. I get to know Sodiq the more as facts start coming to light. Sodiq, who I thought was a big fish, stopped cashing out. I got to realize that there were seven guys living in the apartment I thought he single handedly rented. That was not even shocking enough. Sodiq never had a shoe of his own, all the 30k Snickers belonged to his friends. I realized they share a lot of things together, cut across clothes, shoes and to top it all boxers. A lifestyle which they all termed 4-4-2. Fake life. They are all over the campus like they have everything but yet they have nothing.
It dawned on me that I lost something. Though Ade wouldn’t dress flashy but he hated to borrow, he would give me money when he had it even without me asking, but Sodiq would rather take it from me. Getting to know my boyfriend (Sodiq) closely made me hate myself.
On the other side of the coin, Ade kept the heartbreak behind him and he is now living fine again. Unknown to me, he was doing a personal project and that was why he didn’t show off back then. Now Ade was different. He didn’t change his phone though, but even a blind man could tell his life has changed. I had to leave Sodiq for being fake but I was too guilty to go back to Ade.
Sometimes in life, while all that counts can be counted, not all that can be counted truly counts. I lost Ade because of greed. I fell for the mealy-mouthed Sodiq who had nothing but packaging. My plight resembles that of a child who threw away beans cake because he had honey in view. (Tí omodé bá rí oyin, aso àkàrà nù síígbo) The Yoruba word for “beans cake” is “àkàrà” but in my case, Ade means more than just àkàrà in the above adage. He is more like a bitter leaf (ewúro) whose sweetness lies in the very end of perseverance and patience. Life is a process, but I thought I can get a shortcut to undo that. Well don’t mind me, I was only 19, but that was how I lost my lovely Ade to greed and 4-4-2.