By Yusuf Habeebah
A psychologist once said that “how conflict is handled is the most important predictor of whether a marriage will survive.” Marriage is a legal tool that binds man and woman to become a partner forever, but the tons and scorn of marriage has led to short term couples.
What makes divorce a national cake is lack of understanding and consideration. A lot of early marriages result in divorce due to lack of patience and commitment, as Friedrich Nietzsche says “It is not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
Meanwhile, divorce easily penetrates when a partner fails to trust the other partner. Marriage is not about one person being committed to the relationship, but requires a joint effort of both partners. Joining your life with someone else requires making decisions together. Just like a saying “the goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together—Robert c.Dodds .
One of the biggest reasons for divorce in our society is physical and emotional abuse. Subjecting one’s partner to physical torture, turning them to a punching bag, leaving bruises on skin, rape, scar etc. And also controlling them to do your biddings through threats, insults etc results in emotional damage. Women are victims in most cases. This is inhumane and a sad reality. It is said that it contributes to 23.5% divorces.
In most cases of divorce, the involvement of a third party (who are mostly friends) in your marital affair sometimes leads to confusions and doubts. They mislead by giving bad advice or giving false information. These could lead to misunderstanding with your partner and can also end the marriage. On the other hand, one can consult elders or better still discuss with a counselor to seek her differences.
Lastly, lack of intimacy also triggered divorce among couples. Marriage is a bond that involves intimacy, both sexual and emotional. Intimacy makes married couples to be well connected and more closer to each other. Not feeling connected to your partner can ruin or end a marriage. Resentment and frustration sometimes tends to be a reason that leads to lack of intimacy among married couples. If there are unresolved issues in the marriage, it can cause a spouse to ignore or become physically distant. So, emotional and physical intimacy becomes a problem.