By Abdullateef Abdullahi
Ah, the classic tale of hostel bed space wars! Picture this: a battleground where legal and illegal occupants clash over who reigns supreme in the realm of room ownership.
It’s a comedy of errors when an illegal squatter confidently wrestles for bed space with a legal resident. Why does this academic tango unfold each session, you ask? Well, blame it on the returning illegal occupants, who strut back into their old rooms like they own the place (literally). And let’s not forget the final-year students or the hostel’s “chosen ones” who think they’re entitled to a throne made of pillows.
These illegal masterminds believe in the golden rule of hostels: “Smartness equals comfort.” Meanwhile, final-year students act like they’re untouchable, especially if their challengers are fresh-faced first or second-year residents.
I once witnessed a legal resident hosting a party of eight illegal squatters! When questioned about this overcrowded extravaganza, their excuse? “We’re legal squatters, not illegal ones.” Talk about making room for everyone, even if it means cozying up more than you’d like.
And then there’s the spectacle of two illegal occupants duking it out over bed territory. The winner? Whoever plants their flag (or pillow) first, claiming dominance like a true conqueror of the mattress realm.
But the real kicker? Illegal occupants strut back in like they own the place, challenging anyone—legal or not—with the battle cry, “I was here first, bro!”
After witnessing these hostel theatrics, many legal residents choose to skip the next year’s hostel hustle. They’ve learned from the best (or worst?) and joined the ranks of illegal occupants, proudly declaring, “This is MY bed space, no squatters allowed!”
But why do almost 90% of men prefer to remain illegal occupants from their 100 level to 400 level and then boast about it? And even after vacating the room, some still assign their friends to take over. Men can be quite amusing.