By Ibrahim Adeyemi
As if we’ve not attended one before, everything at the sitting was strange in range, no orderliness in the hearts of those that man the earth of our dear university. No legislation on the side of our legislators; no execution on the other side of the executives. Who is fooling whom? The legislators or the executors? Shall we tell the shallow minded Students’ Union president, that the wind has blown and the anus of the fowl has been exposed to the world? Who is the speaker speaking for? How can a deaf and dump man speak for the masses?
All the above questions have answers, we know and they know that we know. You cannot investigate, when you need to be investigated. When the head of the house is sick, the whole house is in trouble. The right words to write in praise of our Speaker is to humbly describe him as a trumpet without voice. What about the President? He is a young old man who is presided over to preside over some other students in an institution tagged the most peaceful university in Nigeria.
Our campus is a mini-Nigeria, everything that happens everyday is a similitude of all that happens in the country. Eruptions, corruptions, extortions, evasions, all these are common lexemes to read in the dictionary of our campus politics. In this world, there is no one to be trusted with word, not even those who claim to be the secretary of God to the students. Gentlemanliness appears on his forehead, but no iota of gentility in his political activity. Million project without budget; budget without documents; documents without records; records without facts and facts full of fiction. The naughty impotent has refused to dig the hole we asked him to dig, instead, he said he could dig the holes of hundreds of pins.
There is no order in the house of order. Issues upon issues; observations upon observations. Cacophonous, hanky-panky, hullabaloo! “Who is writing the names of the noise makers?” this reporter almost asked. Noise makers were sitting on the seat of the change makers. It was first, security observation, way forward, constitutional observation, point of order, et cetera, et cetera. But the nomenclature changed so soon to what we expected unexpectedly. Insecurity observation, way backward, unconstitutional observation, point of disorder, and so on and so forth.
Nigeria is a mirror and the best place to see the reflection of this country is our campus. No similitude of verisimilitude in the attitude of some dudes. When we aim sense and get nonsense, you know, it’s always painful. There is a thriving wound in our minds and we went ahead to elect a leader that only knows how to add more salts to the wound. Those who claim to be men of God among ‘them’ are actually men of rod. Those we thought are elders are though, really old, they are childish elders of no thoughts.
I don’t want to challenge the competency of every members of the legislative and executive arms of our Students’ Union, but I am sure most of them do not know why they are there. Both the legislative and executive clangers happening now are really expected. Yes, they’ve been foreseen by those who have political foresights on the campus. The house built with mere spittle of the mouth would get jeopardized with mere snow of the sky.
When the right man is put in a wrong place, the right will become the wrong and the wrong will become the right. The right man will always be wrong and the wrong man will always be right. When the right thing is done in the wrong way, the righteous will then die in place of the unrighteous. That’s the causality of the trouble that befalls our campus politicos. I feel like saying most of the so-called politicians are there by chance. When it’s time to use a bat for political sacrifice, what we always prefer is its doppelganger. I’m becoming too serious in this piece, let me keep real a bit.
“Rankadede sir, I will like to unveil my ambition to contest as the president of all Students’ Union of Fools (SUF) in the campus. I’ve come to seek your support.”
“Toor, I have some questions for you before I can tell you whether or not you can contest.”
“OK, go on sir!”
“Are you the son of the soil?”
“Yes, sure sir. I’m from Dundaye in
…..”
“Dundaye? No problem, don’t talk too much, you’ve been selected, even without being elected.”
That’s the voices of the campus godfathers and the student of missions without visions. No much queries. No problem. No trouble. He shall be there, since he’s a son of the soil.
Three words to describe our Students’ Union: “Government without governance.” I see no reason why men of no reason will lead in this season. Who have we even offended to deserve the bunch of those who can’t be called senseless but are actually mentally challenged? I doubt if the so-called president can preside over himself let alone others. I doubt whether he can even speak for himself let alone others. I’m only doubting, I’m not sure if I’m not sure of my doubts.
We all know the solution to our problems. We’ll only create more of problems if we continue to deceive ourselves, thinking we’re deceiving others. Besides, legislatively, our legislators need to be oriented, executively, our executives need extra-lesson.