EXPLAINER: 10 Types of Students You’re Likely to Have as Neighbors in UDUS Hostels (1)

By: OLOKOOBA ABDULWASIU

Living in one of UDUS’ eight Halls demands some ineffable formalities. They are rituals all hostelites— who wish to enjoy a peaceful stay in the hostel— must pay.  Ironically, however, nowhere in the infamous Students’ Handbook can they be found.

These formalities hover around four principles: Tolerance, Patience, Endurance and Discipline.

Be it in Jubril Aminu, I-Block, FBI, or the erstwhile male hostel, Zamfara Hall, the rules are the same. Even in DV— known for hosting the largest gathering of loverbirds, called  “Morocco”— Kwankwansiya Hall, and the new Bakkasi Hall, situated at the back of Danfodiyo’s world, the principles stand firm.

This is because whether one likes it or not, the same kinds of weird people reside in each of the Halls, and a hostelite is not immune from any of them.

However, to live successfully in the Hostels, TheNewsDigestUDUS has compiled a list of 10 types of students you’re most likely to have as neighbours during your stay in the Hostel.

1. THE LEGAL OCCUPANTS

This category of students are the lucky ones, who have been allocated a bedspace in a room of eight. They make the rules. If you’re a Legal Occupant, considering the competitive state of getting a bedspace in UDUS, you’re a demigod.

With luggage the size of a bride’s baggage, Legal Occupants compete for spaces in the wardrobe, and sometimes fight over one. Some are proud, cocky, and fast to chase away any intruder from their bedspace. They can be condescending, too, particularly towards Squatters. Squatters? Read on.

2. SQUATTERS

These students don’t have a bedspace of their own. Some by default, because they’ve not been lucky enough to be allocated one by the Portal. Others however have ‘sold’ their bedspace to those who have not been allocated one, at a higher price, and squat with friends in other rooms who are legal occupants.

One nice thing about UDUS Hostels is that, in most cases, Squatters and Legal Occupants are mistakable. In a room of eight, filled with about 24 students, one can hardly tell the two categories apart. Some Squatters who know this often take advantage of it. They domineer the room with the audacity of a Legal Occupant, and even challenge the authorities of the Legal Occupants. A Squatter, for instance, can argue that the light be switched off because he wants to sleep. Funny, uh?

Meanwhile, there are different ways UDUS students are inducted into the Squatting Community:

•Man-Know-Man; or betterstill,

•Resume early for the session, enter any empty room of your choice, get a marker and scribble this on the wall: “SQUATTING CORNER OCCUPIED 2018/19, BEWARE OF TRESPASSERS!”
 
3. SUB-(SUB)-SQUATTERS

…Watch out for Part Two…